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General Registry Discussion Topics of Interest (Mach 1 Related or otherwise) for discussions that don't fit other forums. |
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01-11-2007, 01:06 PM | #1 |
Moderating at Mach 1
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 16,279
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Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
In the better than four years I've owned my Mach 1 it has become apparent that there are tings on our cars which have a function other than what they were originally designed for. These are the ones I've observed and if anyone has similar experiences which they would like to add to the list, please feel free to do so;
Original Item Description: Rear Deck Spoiler New Item Descripton: Rear Deck Lid mounted water container. This item can retain water from a simple car wash or rain in a way that a camel only dream of. There could possibly be aquatic life existing in mine as it car apparently hold water until the next rain or car wash. Original Item Description: Traction Control New Item Description: That Stupid Button on the Center Stack. This is Fords sick version of an intiation prank gone horribly wrong. Capable of roller coaster class terror on it's first activation, it is also probably capable of knocking out teeth to those who are unaware of its villany. Original Item Description: Simulated Side Mounted Brake Scoops New Item Description: Side Mounted Dirt Catchers. These ornamental scoops were designed by the same scientists who designed the Bussard Ram Scoop collectors on the Warp Nacells on the USS Enterprise. Capable of trapping the most minute particles when any forward velocity is established, they are equally frustrating to clean...an eventually useless effort if the car is to ever be driven in the future. Original Item Description: Seat Belts New Item Description: Road Rage Straps. Designed to hold the occupants car in place in an accident, these cunningly designed items will jam at any oppotunity causing the very accidents they were designed to help in. In addition they will fail to retract when ever the door is opened, so that when the door is closed the seat belt will manage to sick out past the door causing even more aggravation. Original Item Description: Seat Belt Guide Loop New Item Description: Stupid Piece of Plastic. Designed to guide the belt into the proper angle, it is actually only used keep the seat belt for any possible use and will enhance the jamming capabilities of the above item. Original Item Description: Leather Seat Inserts New Item Description: Leather Wrinkle Panels. These once smooth panels that flank the simulated knitted vinyl on the seats take on the texture of crumple up aluminum foil when exposed to either sunlight or the weight of the rear end of anyone heavier than Nicole Ritchie. Oringinal Item Description: Engine Compartment New Item Description: The Deadly Black Hole. Housing the Mach 1's power plant it also incorporates a dirt generator as well as the sharpest edged metal knwon to mankind, allowing not only blood to be spilled at the very idea of checking the oil but grinding into that wound a type of dirt never previously seen by humankind. Original Item Description: Fuel Gauge New Item Descripton: Stupid Fuel Gauge. Only good for indicating when the fuel tank might be close to empty, or pegging out when the tank has been filled, any simliarities in between it and the actual fuel tank level is totally accidental and unintended. Hope you learned something...enjoy...
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Krewe de la Mach Rouge #340804 13th Mach 1 built 11/07/02 Build Date 12/13/02 Delivery |
01-11-2007, 01:25 PM | #2 |
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: There
Posts: 639
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Too funny!
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01-11-2007, 01:33 PM | #3 |
pop up and do less....
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Central IL
Posts: 1,122
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Well Said
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~Matt 2006 F150 SUPERCREW XLT 4X4 2.5" Lift 18x9 Moto Metal 951 Wheels 325/60/18 Nitto Grappelers **SOLD** 2004 Comepition Orange 5 Speed w/ IUP DOB: JAN 23 2004 |
01-11-2007, 01:42 PM | #4 |
On the aftermarket trail
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Pleasant Grove, UT
Posts: 2,588
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Nice I liked it a lot
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Rock out with your Mach out! Hang out with you Stang out! 2005 Mustang Gt * 20" wheels * Flowmaster Axel Back Exhaust * K&N CAI Intake * SCT custom tune * Pypes X-Pipe * Shaker 1000 audio system 2004 White Mach 1 * Super Forty Flowmaster Mufflers * Bassani On/Off road X-pipe * Air Silencer Removed * K&N Drop in Filter |
01-11-2007, 01:49 PM | #5 |
original owner
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bethany, Ontario
Posts: 3,758
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Well put!:LAUGH:
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2003 Mach1 DSG - original owner (1 of 1595) IUP, MGW black locking fuel door, sequential flashers, K&N, Mach1 scuff plates, ID tags, MRT shifter, Borla cat back, Steeda full length subframe connectors, 3pt STB, AFS black chrome Mach1 Heritage 17 x 9 & 17 x 10.5 shoes, MRT hood struts. BIRTHDATE - 04/09/2003 ,<-- thx Donna 2012 Shelby GT500 Perf white, SVT PP (SVT Track Pack), Electronics Package, Borla exhaust |
01-11-2007, 01:55 PM | #6 |
MachAddiction
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: here,there
Posts: 476
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
chin spoiler=curb feeler/tells you how f'd up driveways to shopping centers are
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01-11-2007, 01:59 PM | #7 |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Tunnel Hill, GA
Posts: 216
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Loved it... too funny, you need to take that act on the road.
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01-11-2007, 02:13 PM | #8 |
Cloud Nine
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Adairsville, GA
Posts: 3,132
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Holy Cow! Thats Funny! :LAUGH:
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01-11-2007, 02:58 PM | #9 | |
Moderating at Mach 1
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 16,279
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Quote:
Other terms...(Not trying to copy 64vslves, just neglected to include them originally) Original Item Description: Front Air Dam New Item Descripton: Dam* Air Dam. Item is designed to drag on any curb and muffle the sound of the front valance as it scrapes precious fiberglass against the concrete, eliciting various four letter words from the driver...some which sound like Dam Original Item Description: Front Subframe Brace New Item Description: Speed Bump Indicator. Desidned to enhance the stucture of the car, it actually makes horrible grating noises to indicate the least little speed bump or kerb. Oringinal Item Description: Trunk Opening Well New Item Description: Another Uncleanable Black Hole. Designed to route water away from the trunk opening, it also has the uncanny ability to retain all mater of dirt, leaves, and rail dust. Made of a material with the drying properties of quicksand, it is not only able to hold all matter of crud it is also cleverly designed to be virutally uncleanable due to the design of the hinge mechanism which will not allow the introduciton of any brush, cloth unsevered finger or any other item thicker than either a toothpick or the previously mentioned Nicole Ritchie.
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Krewe de la Mach Rouge #340804 13th Mach 1 built 11/07/02 Build Date 12/13/02 Delivery |
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01-11-2007, 03:08 PM | #10 |
14 Year Reg Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 1,250
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Great job. I just finished washing the Mach before I read this. The descriptions of the sharp metal in the engine compartment and the dirt collecting "brake vents" were right on. I laughed out loud.
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1978 Mustang II - junked 1983 Mustang GT - sold 1986 Mustang conv - sold 1993 Mustang 5.0 notch - sold 1997 Mustang GT - traded in 1994 Mustang GT conv - sold 2003 Mustang Mach 1 - current 2010 Harley Davidson XL883N - current 2015 Mustang Ecoboost - current Best ET 13.59@103MPH |
01-11-2007, 03:22 PM | #11 |
My First Mach, Jan. 1969
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Tacoma, Washington
Posts: 13,070
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
You hurt my cars feelings. Please say your sorry.
Ford Motor Co. |
01-11-2007, 03:30 PM | #12 | |
Supercharger Heaven!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Ft Jennings, Ohio
Posts: 2,335
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Quote:
Hahaha, good one.
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2003 Jack Roush Classic Stg 3 #34 of 46 Built! Zinc Yellow (the only one) Roush Serial # 7425 Built 1/13/03 1985 Canyon Red SVO- My 1st Stang, sold MCA 56545 |
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01-11-2007, 04:03 PM | #13 |
Braderunna
Join Date: May 2004
Location: hampton, va
Posts: 4,949
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Addenda -
Original Item Description: Intake resonator New Item Description: Ugly Milk Jug. This item was provided by Ford engineering in conjunction with SEMA to promote the disease known as "Mod Sickness". It has no known function to the operatioon of the vehicle. As the easiest, cheapest and universally desireable possible modification to the mach 1, removal of this component and subsequent blocking off of the resulting hole in the intake serves as a "gateway" to further modifications. Original Item Description: Clutch quadrant (self-adjusting) New Item Description: Temporary placeholder for fixed aluminum quadrant+ firewall adjuster. This piece of [OEM equipment] is responsible for most "transmission" problems including missed shifts, difficult reverse selection, worn throw-out bearings and grinding synchros. Obviously never intended to remain on the car permanently, delayed replacement is the root cause for the aforementioned maladies. Original Item Description: Oil level dipstick New Item Description: Oil Level dipstick tube plug. Though marketed as a device to measure the crankcase oil level, in operation, the markings thereon have little to no correlation with actual proper oil level. The device serves mainly to prevent dust entering the crankcase through the tube it is installed in. Original Item Description: Serpentine belt routing decal New Item Description: flat spot on radiator shroud. Unlike most every other car on planet earth, the mach 1 comes from Ford with no convenient underhood routing diagram for the serpentine belt. Instead, owners of these cars are provided with a blank rectangular area to which their choice of decoration may be affixed.
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"Sparky"- 2003 Azure Blue w/MT and IUP Visit my garage on mach1mustang.org for details. |
01-11-2007, 04:47 PM | #14 | |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TN
Posts: 1,455
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Quote:
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2004 Azure Blue, 5sp. Build Date: 1/24/2004 Other: 2000 Lincoln LS V8, White Pearlescent Tri-Coat 1995 F-150 4x4, 5.0, duals, custom interior |
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01-11-2007, 05:15 PM | #15 |
Moderating at Mach 1
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 16,279
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Thanks for the addendums and for proving all these observations right. I was driving today and when I got out I noticed the spoiler leak...two days after it was washed. From there it all just came to me...here's more...
Original Item Description: Rear Deck Speakers New Item Description: Rear Deck Bug Blockers. The Mach 460 rear speakers were originally designed to play a crackly, scratchy version of what we generally refer to as music. It's actual purpose is to make it completely impossible to get any hands, brushes or vacuum cleaners in that area on order to clean out the bugs which accumulate there over time. The only remedy to this is to never roll down your windows while driving. Original Item Description: Rolled Stainless Steel Exhaust Tips New Item Description: Stainless Steel Carbon Traps. The rolled S/S tips do not affect the sound or the performance aspect of the vehicle in any way, shape or form. They do, however, manage to keep any carbon particulate matter from escaping into the atmosphere by holding them at the rolled portion of the tip, making even the most pristine car look like a $50 hooptie in no time flat!
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Krewe de la Mach Rouge #340804 13th Mach 1 built 11/07/02 Build Date 12/13/02 Delivery |
01-11-2007, 05:21 PM | #16 |
res. crazy hottie poster
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: donelson,tn (nashville,tn)
Posts: 2,140
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
true oso true!!!! & at the whole thread !!!!
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www.svtoanashville.com ACTIVITES DIRECTOR NOT JUST for svt products !!!! 03-black cobra R.I.P. 03-azure blue mach 1 born on 3-11-03 gone but not forgotten black 03 cobra vert. SVT 10th anniv. ,95 DARK GREEN GT if your worried about fuel economy,buy a honda. just think about whats more important to you. saving a few bucks at the pump, or driving around with a boner |
01-11-2007, 05:26 PM | #17 | |
On Permanant Vacation
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: McVeytown, PA
Posts: 5,015
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Quote:
Another addition Original Item Description: Manual Transmission Shifter Ball. New Item Description: Right Hand Branding Tool. This devious (but innocent looking) device was claimed by Ford to be there to give you a comfortable grip when shifting gears. However, it is best know for searing the shift pattern into the palm of your hand, so you will always know what the pattern is supposed to be.
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And then one day you find, 10 years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.. 18 Shelby GT 350 04 Mach 1 (Sold 9/1/2018 ) 18 Ford Explorer XLT 17 Mustang GT/CS Convertible 16 Fusion SE AWD Ecoboost 10 Fusion SE V6 66 289 Mustang Hardtop Restomod |
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01-11-2007, 05:35 PM | #18 |
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Owasso, OK
Posts: 297
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Dang quirky `Stangs...Ya gotta love `em.
Original Item Description: Mach 460 CD6 sound system New Item Description: A CD disposal device capable of consuming up to 6 of your store bought CD's. Make no attempt to retrieve them or you will engage the self-destruct mode and be forced to buy a salvage radio, or take out a second mortgage for the privilege of buying an NOS one from Ford.
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`03 Torch Red Mach |
01-11-2007, 05:57 PM | #19 | |
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Location: Oak Creek, WI
Posts: 369
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Quote:
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01-11-2007, 06:54 PM | #20 |
Moderating at Mach 1
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 16,279
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Works for me. I'm embarassed to say how long some of the tape for my temp tag stayed on the back window. No way to get to it!
Another... Original Item Description: Tremec Transmisson New Item Description: That Piece of Garbage (Nice Version). A flimsy aluminum container that houses a loose collection of parts rotating in generally the same speed and direction until they are asked to perform unintended tasks such as actually causing a car to move or stay assembled after the warranty period.
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Krewe de la Mach Rouge #340804 13th Mach 1 built 11/07/02 Build Date 12/13/02 Delivery Last edited by falcongtho3; 01-11-2007 at 08:50 PM. |
01-11-2007, 08:42 PM | #21 |
certified MACH 1 nut
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: nova scotia canada
Posts: 1,520
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
thats funny i have 1 too been there since i bought the car and have had it to many shows
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01-11-2007, 08:50 PM | #22 |
Braderunna
Join Date: May 2004
Location: hampton, va
Posts: 4,949
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
My "rear window pet" is a horsefly. Been there since I can remember. I call him "Buster"... lol
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"Sparky"- 2003 Azure Blue w/MT and IUP Visit my garage on mach1mustang.org for details. |
01-11-2007, 08:52 PM | #23 |
Braderunna
Join Date: May 2004
Location: hampton, va
Posts: 4,949
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
awww, yeah, I forgot that one, since I replaced it so soon after getting my car!
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"Sparky"- 2003 Azure Blue w/MT and IUP Visit my garage on mach1mustang.org for details. |
01-11-2007, 08:55 PM | #24 | |
Torque wins!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 13,167
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Quote:
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The ORIGINAL Project R build thread is back ! 5.4 32V NA Streetable 404/387 26.56 MPG "I don't like repeat offenders, I like DEAD offenders" Ted Nugent "A big engine hardly working is more efficient than a little engine screaming its head off" Jay Leno |
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01-11-2007, 08:59 PM | #25 |
Torque wins!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 13,167
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Re: Updates to Mach 1 terminology...
Another update:
Original name: Shaker scoop. New name: Moron magnet Supposed to duct fresh cool air into the air intake, but mainly what it does is illicit retarded questions from Mullet wearers such as: "Is that a Supercharger?" or "Why did you cut a hole in the hood of your GT?"
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The ORIGINAL Project R build thread is back ! 5.4 32V NA Streetable 404/387 26.56 MPG "I don't like repeat offenders, I like DEAD offenders" Ted Nugent "A big engine hardly working is more efficient than a little engine screaming its head off" Jay Leno |
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