2003-04 Mach 1 Registry Owners Club - Updates to Mach 1 terminology...

2003-04 Mach 1 Registry Owners Club (http://www.mach1registry.org/forums/index.php)

- General Registry Discussion (http://www.mach1registry.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=3)

- - Updates to Mach 1 terminology... (http://www.mach1registry.org/forums/showthread.php?t=59577)

Updates to Mach 1 terminology...

In the better than four years I've owned my Mach 1 it has become apparent that there are tings on our cars which have a function other than what they were originally designed for. These are the ones I've observed and if anyone has similar experiences which they would like to add to the list, please feel free to do so;

Original Item Description: Rear Deck Spoiler
New Item Descripton: Rear Deck Lid mounted water container. This item can retain water from a simple car wash or rain in a way that a camel only dream of. There could possibly be aquatic life existing in mine as it car apparently hold water until the next rain or car wash.

Original Item Description: Traction Control
New Item Description: That Stupid Button on the Center Stack. This is Fords sick version of an intiation prank gone horribly wrong. Capable of roller coaster class terror on it's first activation, it is also probably capable of knocking out teeth to those who are unaware of its villany.

Original Item Description: Simulated Side Mounted Brake Scoops
New Item Description: Side Mounted Dirt Catchers. These ornamental scoops were designed by the same scientists who designed the Bussard Ram Scoop collectors on the Warp Nacells on the USS Enterprise. Capable of trapping the most minute particles when any forward velocity is established, they are equally frustrating to clean...an eventually useless effort if the car is to ever be driven in the future.

Original Item Description: Seat Belts
New Item Description: Road Rage Straps. Designed to hold the occupants car in place in an accident, these cunningly designed items will jam at any oppotunity causing the very accidents they were designed to help in. In addition they will fail to retract when ever the door is opened, so that when the door is closed the seat belt will manage to sick out past the door causing even more aggravation.

Original Item Description: Seat Belt Guide Loop
New Item Description: Stupid Piece of Plastic. Designed to guide the belt into the proper angle, it is actually only used keep the seat belt for any possible use and will enhance the jamming capabilities of the above item.

Original Item Description: Leather Seat Inserts
New Item Description: Leather Wrinkle Panels. These once smooth panels that flank the simulated knitted vinyl on the seats take on the texture of crumple up aluminum foil when exposed to either sunlight or the weight of the rear end of anyone heavier than Nicole Ritchie.

Oringinal Item Description: Engine Compartment
New Item Description: The Deadly Black Hole. Housing the Mach 1's power plant it also incorporates a dirt generator as well as the sharpest edged metal knwon to mankind, allowing not only blood to be spilled at the very idea of checking the oil but grinding into that wound a type of dirt never previously seen by humankind.

Original Item Description: Fuel Gauge
New Item Descripton: Stupid Fuel Gauge. Only good for indicating when the fuel tank might be close to empty, or pegging out when the tank has been filled, any simliarities in between it and the actual fuel tank level is totally accidental and unintended.

Hope you learned something...enjoy...:borg: